The Best Day Ever

This past Saturday, Michael was gone so it was just the kids and I.  Last weekend, we were all suffering with the plague so it seemed like we had been home for a long time without any excitement happening.  So I decided to take the kids for a fun day in St George, I knew it would also be warmer there so it was a guaranteed day of adventure.

We headed down the "long" trek south and listened to Hank Smith CD's to entertain and uplift us during the drive.  We began our adventure with the St George Children's Museum.  It had been a LONG time since we had been there.  It wasn't too crowded for a Saturday.  One thing I noticed was that my boys are too old for that place now.  We first went there almost three years ago when TnT were eight and Joey was six and Lily was four years old.  In my previous post, I mentioned how time was going too fast, well this trip really hit me just how fast my boys are growing up.  Once the moment has passed, there is no point back.  I miss the days of watching Yo Gabba Gabba, Toy Story, and Cars.  Now when we sit down to watch a movie, I will say excitedly, "We haven't seen Toy Story 2 in a while, lets watch that one." And the response is, "No mom, we aren't babies anymore."

The museum was filled with lots of little kids, my boys weren't little anymore, though they weren't the biggest or oldest kids there, they still looked as thought they were too big to play.  Needless to say, we didn't stay very long.

We then decided to go to lunch.  Yay, we're in St George and the world of variety is at our finger tips. I drove by Viva Chicken, and there were actually a few empty parking spots open.  That's a good sign that you can get in, order, and find a good spot to sit, and I was correct.  If you've never been to Viva Chicken, it is an amazing place.  They're menu is Peruvian and they have fresh, delicious, rotisserie chicken.  We ordered and sat down and ate, it was good.  Some of my kids were a bit picky but overall, they ate and we were happy.  We had gotten there just in time, because a crew of 4 different girls soccer teams showed up just as we were leaving.

Next, we went to Tonaquint Park, it was so crowded there, but we still managed to have some fun.  The splash pad wasn't up and running which is understandable since we are still in winter.  It was so nice to get outside and get some sun and breathe in some fresh air.

We then decided to go to Barnes & Noble, we had some gift cards to spend.  I love books, I love books, I love books.  The kids all picked a small "thing" to take home.  Some picked a tiny stuffed animal, some picked one of those boxes with a thing in it.  I found some books to read, hopefully one of the three will sweep me off of my feet and won't put me down until I'm done reading it.  Then it was time to head home.

The drive home was nice, we listened to Hank Smith once again.  Some fell asleep and others just listened.

Saturday was one of those days that I wish would never end, all that was missing was Michael.  I love my kids and I love spending time with them.  It was a day filled with memories and I know that with spring around the corner, there are more fun days ahead.

Time is a thief

Lately, I have been feeling my age and stage of life.  I feel as though Michael and I have graduated into the next stage of our lives, but I don't know what to call it.  I don't want to call it "old" because really, we aren't that old.  He will be 41 this year and I will be 40, and now that we are here, I don't consider it old, because I don't feel old.  But if you were to ask my 15 year old self, yes 40 was old and I had imagined that once you hit 40, life was over because it's all downhill from here.  I'd like to go back to my 15 year old self and smack me in the face.  Little girl, I'm gonna rock this year like no other, my 15 year old self will be so impressed if not jealous!

So back to this new stage of life.  Suddenly, we aren't one of the younger couples in our ward with the smallest children.  There are other families taking that place as Michael and I, and our children get older.  Suddenly, our children aren't the youngest anymore.  Suddenly, my children don't want to watch SpongeBob anymore because "it's a baby show". (I feel like we are the only parents in Utah who allow our kids to watch SpongeBob, we are such heathens).  Suddenly, they have grown out of playing with Woody and Buzz Lightyear.  Luckily, Lily is still young enough to enjoy the "baby shows" still, but she's starting to grow out of things that I'm not ready to let go of yet.

I reflect on this time of motherhood/parenthood, and it has flown by so fast.  Suddenly, our kids are getting older so fast that I don't think we have that "bumper" of time to allow us to change our bad habits and be better parents.  I look back and hope that I have done good, but the innate pessimist in me assures me that I have failed at motherhood and I shouldn't even try anymore, that it's too late so I should just give up on these last few years we have left.  My children are doomed and destined for prison life.  Okay, I'm being dramatic,  I tend to freak out when I really think about the negatives BUT I know where these negative thoughts come from and I know who wants me to fail.
Well, not today satan

Satan is the father of lies and I will not allow him to make me feel as if I've already failed when I still have so much more time ahead.  I will not allow him to tell me to give up on the most important thing I will ever do in this life, motherhood.  Are there things that I could have done better as a mother, of course.  But there are already some great things that I have done as a mother, more than any of the less than good things that I have done.

I love this gospel and I love my Savior and I love that my Savior loves me so much that he sent people to this earth to help me become a better person, wife, and mother.  Here are some quotes that I will focus on to help remind me remained focus on what matters most.

We thank thee, Oh God, for a prophet.

Earlier this month, President Thomas S Monson, passed away. While we all knew he wasn't doing well, and knew his time here on earth wouldn't be much longer, I still wasn't prepared for how it would affect me.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I didn't grow up in the church, I joined when I was 19 years old. I had attended several different churches prior to joining. I partook of a smorgasbord of different denominations of Christianity, some differed from others only slightly when it came to doctrine, but then there were the big differences such as baptism; to baptize babies, or to not. Some didn't even feel as though baptism was necessary. But one thing they all agreed on: the heavens were closed, there was no such thing as modern revelation, and there definitely were NO MORE PROPHETS.

I had heard about Mormons and knew they believed in prophets, and wouldn't you know, I had the opportunity to visit with some missionaries that had been teaching my cousins about the gospel. I had no intention to join the church, I only had some questions that I needed to be answered. It made sense to go to the source for the answers.

I remember when the missionaries mentioned that there was a prophet on the earth who received revelation from God, it seemed so very foreign, and honestly, almost wrong even. At the time, the prophet's name was Gordon B. Hinckley. The missionaries showed me his picture and I was surprised by how sweet and warm his countenance was. I had imagined some crazy guy wearing a robe because the idea of a prophet was crazy and I had been taught that only crazy men considered themselves prophets of God. But President Hinckley didn't fit my preconceived image of what a prophet should look like. He reminded me of a sweet, loving grandfather who sincerely cared for you, and when I heard him speak to the people of the church, and really to the world if the world was willing to listen, he was just that; a sweet, loving, old man who genuinely loved everyone and who would tear up when he spoke of his love for us, he would admonish us to make good choices so we could find real happiness.

Another preconceived idea I had about so called prophets was that they were selfish, puffed up, and only looking for self gain. I pictured someone sitting on a pedestal who wouldn't bother mingling with everyone else. That was not true about Hinkley, or any of the previous prophets. They have always been humble, yet selfless, and loving men who visited people all over the world. They visited people on every continent, rich or poor, member or not. They got to know people because they cared.

I obviously joined the church. I had considered Hinckley my prophet, since he was the only living prophet I had the opportunity to hear. It goes without saying that when he passed away on January 27, 2008, I was sad. I couldn't imagine life without him, without ever seeing his face or hearing his loving words. I couldn't imagine that Thomas S Monson would love us as much (so immature, I know). I had a hard time letting go and accepting the change and the new president of the church.

Gordon B. Hinckley

Well, I knew that I needed to gain a testimony about President Monson or I wouldn't be able to grow spiritually. I had to pray and fast to really know for sure if President Monson was the Lord's mouth piece on the earth, if he was really our new prophet. Though I already knew, I needed to know without a doubt. So I prayed, first I apologized for my spiritual immaturity, but I have a testimony that I can pray to Heavenly Father about anything, whether it be something silly or something of more value, He always wants to hear what I worry about. So I prayed, I fasted, and I listened to the words which president Monson spoke at the following general conference. Though I missed seeing the sweet and tender face of President Hinkley, I was so grateful to see President Monson stand at the pulpit and speak to the world. I saw him, and I listened, and I suddenly knew without a doubt, that he was our new prophet. I knew, without a doubt, that Thomas S Monson was the one the Lord had chosen to be his mouthpiece here on the earth. His words spoke of hope, of love, and of kindness towards others. How could I have ever thought that President Monson wouldn't love us as much? His life was full of service and love for the world, I knew he loved me, thought he didn't ever know me personally, I felt his love and his prayers for me and the world.

Thomas S. Monson, I will miss his smile.

I will miss seeing President Monson's face, I will greatly miss his soft, gentle voice as he tells his stories that are relatable and unforgettable.

I know that Russell M. Nelson is now the prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know that he is guided by the Lord and I know that he loves us.

Russell M. Nelson

My life (an oldy I never published, circa 2014)

I'm a busy woman, my life is crazy and at most times, hectic.  But I love my life, it's the life I chose.  Each day is different, the routines are usually the same i.e. wake up with the kids, eat breakfast, play, do some school work, lunch, play, go to karate, eat dinner, bedtime and repeat.  But each day is new and different; and it's filled with new memories, new laughs, new tears, and new hugs and kisses.

Today has been one of those days that was a bit trying, and at times I was tempted to shed a tear or two, especially when my husband called to tell me he was going out of town tonight.  I was looking forward to him coming home, and snuggling with us all.  Sweet T was asking for him and now he will be gone for the night.  But we usually have a sleepover downstairs on the nights when daddy is gone, so it's still something fun to look forward to.

The Trouble With Porn

Sometimes my life speaks to me in themes.  For instance, one week I'll get these thoughts about improving my prayers and I'll see a ton of post on Facebook or memes on Instagram that really speak to the part of my soul that is looking to improve.  It's happened with so many different ideas: scripture reading, compassion, self confidence, patience, service, etc.

Well this week the thing that keeps slapping me in the face is pornography. Nope, don't worry, I'm not struggling with pornography, but lately there have been many signs pointing me to discuss pornography and it's harms with my children.  My husband and I have had discussions with our children before and our kids are pretty open with their questions and honest with images they see and can easily call out pornography in lines at the store or with commercials on TV.  We also do not shame our children for asking questions or feeling curious about things.  We want them to know we love them no matter what and that we are here to help them stay strong.

It all started Sunday after church, Michael was on his way to California so the kids and I watched some uplifting church videos from the LDS church's YouTube Channel. One video called What should I do when I see porn? is catered to children, we've seen it before but this time more information stood out to me like how porn can distort someone's view of what love is and for a child to be exposed to porn at a young age, it will make it harder for them to know what a healthy loving relationship is.  So it's very crucial and important to teach them that any images they see (it's no longer a matter of if they see it, it's a matter of when because our children WILL see some form of pornography in their childhood) is bad and not what real love is.  A lot of the information in the video is from this book which we own Good pictures Bad pictures.

Since Sunday, so many different things have popped up in my newsfeed on Facebook regarding pornography and it's harmfulness.  Yes, I follow a lot of anti-porn pages so naturally my newsfeed would include some of those posts but, either I've not noticed them lately or this week has been heavy posting for these sites.  Here are the ones that have popped up this week:

Penthouse Attacks LDS church in latest issue
Porn Hates Families  (THIS ONE HAS SO MANY GREAT FACTS)
Hey, Cosmopolitan! Stop telling Snapchatters That Watching Porn isn't cheating (which is why I left snapchat)
Ozzy Osbourne in therapy for sex addiction
And this blog post I wrote three years ago popped up on my Facebook memories (I share a situation in which I found a pornographic book within a child's arm reach at Barnes and Noble and how I took it to their corporate office)

I even shared a status update on my reason for leaving Snapchat, and it started a small conversation (another trigger for me feeling the need to talk to my children about porn)

My point of this blog post is to say pornography is harmful, it's addictive, and it ruins families.  I've yet to know of anyone who has praise for pornography strengthening their marriage.  In fact, I've seen the opposite,  I've known of women who watched pornography with their husbands to "spice up their marriages", and none are still married now.  But hey, even if there was that one couple that swore pornography saved their marriage, I'd still rather not take that road.

One thing I've learned this week, is that having the talk about pornography with my children isn't a one time thing, it's a constant need to remind them of the difference between good pictures and bad pictures and how they make us feel, and that they can always come to us, their parents who love them and who care for their well being more than anyone else in this world.