Earlier this month, President Thomas S Monson, passed away. While we all knew he wasn't doing well, and knew his time here on earth wouldn't be much longer, I still wasn't prepared for how it would affect me.
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I didn't grow up in the church, I joined when I was 19 years old. I had attended several different churches prior to joining. I partook of a smorgasbord of different denominations of Christianity, some differed from others only slightly when it came to doctrine, but then there were the big differences such as baptism; to baptize babies, or to not. Some didn't even feel as though baptism was necessary. But one thing they all agreed on: the heavens were closed, there was no such thing as modern revelation, and there definitely were NO MORE PROPHETS.
I had heard about Mormons and knew they believed in prophets, and wouldn't you know, I had the opportunity to visit with some missionaries that had been teaching my cousins about the gospel. I had no intention to join the church, I only had some questions that I needed to be answered. It made sense to go to the source for the answers.
I remember when the missionaries mentioned that there was a prophet on the earth who received revelation from God, it seemed so very foreign, and honestly, almost wrong even. At the time, the prophet's name was Gordon B. Hinckley. The missionaries showed me his picture and I was surprised by how sweet and warm his countenance was. I had imagined some crazy guy wearing a robe because the idea of a prophet was crazy and I had been taught that only crazy men considered themselves prophets of God. But President Hinckley didn't fit my preconceived image of what a prophet should look like. He reminded me of a sweet, loving grandfather who sincerely cared for you, and when I heard him speak to the people of the church, and really to the world if the world was willing to listen, he was just that; a sweet, loving, old man who genuinely loved everyone and who would tear up when he spoke of his love for us, he would admonish us to make good choices so we could find real happiness.
Another preconceived idea I had about so called prophets was that they were selfish, puffed up, and only looking for self gain. I pictured someone sitting on a pedestal who wouldn't bother mingling with everyone else. That was not true about Hinkley, or any of the previous prophets. They have always been humble, yet selfless, and loving men who visited people all over the world. They visited people on every continent, rich or poor, member or not. They got to know people because they cared.
I obviously joined the church. I had considered Hinckley my prophet, since he was the only living prophet I had the opportunity to hear. It goes without saying that when he passed away on January 27, 2008, I was sad. I couldn't imagine life without him, without ever seeing his face or hearing his loving words. I couldn't imagine that Thomas S Monson would love us as much (so immature, I know). I had a hard time letting go and accepting the change and the new president of the church.
Well, I knew that I needed to gain a testimony about President Monson or I wouldn't be able to grow spiritually. I had to pray and fast to really know for sure if President Monson was the Lord's mouth piece on the earth, if he was really our new prophet. Though I already knew, I needed to know without a doubt. So I prayed, first I apologized for my spiritual immaturity, but I have a testimony that I can pray to Heavenly Father about anything, whether it be something silly or something of more value, He always wants to hear what I worry about. So I prayed, I fasted, and I listened to the words which president Monson spoke at the following general conference. Though I missed seeing the sweet and tender face of President Hinkley, I was so grateful to see President Monson stand at the pulpit and speak to the world. I saw him, and I listened, and I suddenly knew without a doubt, that he was our new prophet. I knew, without a doubt, that Thomas S Monson was the one the Lord had chosen to be his mouthpiece here on the earth. His words spoke of hope, of love, and of kindness towards others. How could I have ever thought that President Monson wouldn't love us as much? His life was full of service and love for the world, I knew he loved me, thought he didn't ever know me personally, I felt his love and his prayers for me and the world.
I know that Russell M. Nelson is now the prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know that he is guided by the Lord and I know that he loves us.
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