Time is a thief

Lately, I have been feeling my age and stage of life.  I feel as though Michael and I have graduated into the next stage of our lives, but I don't know what to call it.  I don't want to call it "old" because really, we aren't that old.  He will be 41 this year and I will be 40, and now that we are here, I don't consider it old, because I don't feel old.  But if you were to ask my 15 year old self, yes 40 was old and I had imagined that once you hit 40, life was over because it's all downhill from here.  I'd like to go back to my 15 year old self and smack me in the face.  Little girl, I'm gonna rock this year like no other, my 15 year old self will be so impressed if not jealous!

So back to this new stage of life.  Suddenly, we aren't one of the younger couples in our ward with the smallest children.  There are other families taking that place as Michael and I, and our children get older.  Suddenly, our children aren't the youngest anymore.  Suddenly, my children don't want to watch SpongeBob anymore because "it's a baby show". (I feel like we are the only parents in Utah who allow our kids to watch SpongeBob, we are such heathens).  Suddenly, they have grown out of playing with Woody and Buzz Lightyear.  Luckily, Lily is still young enough to enjoy the "baby shows" still, but she's starting to grow out of things that I'm not ready to let go of yet.

I reflect on this time of motherhood/parenthood, and it has flown by so fast.  Suddenly, our kids are getting older so fast that I don't think we have that "bumper" of time to allow us to change our bad habits and be better parents.  I look back and hope that I have done good, but the innate pessimist in me assures me that I have failed at motherhood and I shouldn't even try anymore, that it's too late so I should just give up on these last few years we have left.  My children are doomed and destined for prison life.  Okay, I'm being dramatic,  I tend to freak out when I really think about the negatives BUT I know where these negative thoughts come from and I know who wants me to fail.
Well, not today satan

Satan is the father of lies and I will not allow him to make me feel as if I've already failed when I still have so much more time ahead.  I will not allow him to tell me to give up on the most important thing I will ever do in this life, motherhood.  Are there things that I could have done better as a mother, of course.  But there are already some great things that I have done as a mother, more than any of the less than good things that I have done.

I love this gospel and I love my Savior and I love that my Savior loves me so much that he sent people to this earth to help me become a better person, wife, and mother.  Here are some quotes that I will focus on to help remind me remained focus on what matters most.